Divorce Mediation

Divorce Mediation in NYC

My approach to Divorce Mediation

Here I will describe the variety of divorce mediators that you can choose from and why I may be the type of mediator that could best help you.

nyc divorce mediation

It is an unsettling fact that there are no certification requirements to become a divorce mediator – none. The truth is anyone can call themselves a divorce mediator. Therefore it is imperative that you choose your divorce mediator carefully and wisely.

 

A Different Kind of Divorce Mediator

Here are some things to consider in choosing well. Fortunately, many divorce mediators have completed training in divorce mediation and are also are professionals in fields which provide them with special expertise. Many are lawyers or financial professionals,
and they bring those special skills to the process of divorce mediation. For instance, if your situation has uniquely complicated financial factors, you might want to choose a divorce mediator who is also an accountant.

However, the majority of divorce mediators are not trained psychologists. I am a licensed PhD clinical psychologist, and beyond that I also completed four years of training in psychotherapy at a psychoanalytic institute after receiving my doctorate.
Moreover I completed a course in divorce mediation at the Ackerman Institute for the Family, which is a leading organization that trains clinicians to work with couples and families. I also have additional training in couples treatment and have been practicing
couples therapy since I was licensed in 1996.

Psychology-Based Divorce Mediation

As a result of all this training and experience, I can offer you a variety of skills, resources, and competencies that many other divorce mediators simply cannot. The reason for this is as follows.

mexico boat Divorce is often a very emotionally
charged process which can bring up feelings of anger, anxiety, fear, and hurt, among other painful emotions. It is an experience that can bring out the worst in us, and make it especially hard for the divorcing couple to truly communicate and resolve their
conflicts constructively.

For example, many disagreements between the couple are not only about the issue itself (i.e., the house, the car, etc.) but they have also come to, consciously or unconsciously, symbolize previous hurts and a sense of being mistreated by the former partner
whom we once depended on for so very much. We can want to “right certain wrongs” through these kinds of battles. At these moments a couple can get completely stuck in fighting about the surface issue which symbolizes these problems.
A deadlock between the two divorcing people may result.

Divorce Mediation from a Psychologist Who Understands Your Needs

A lawyer or an accountant, without training in psychology or couples therapy, would be far less likely to be able to understand or even recognize the real source of why the couple is stuck at this point. It is as if they would see the tip of the iceberg
instead of addressing the underlying emotional problem that is hidden below the water. As a result, they may even unintentionally prolong your divorce process because they can’t see the true cause of the problem. Litigating attorneys, in fact,
would benefit financially from these impasses which lead to drawn out fights.

By contrast, you would benefit from letting me help you identify and address your understandable emotional hurts, which are interfering with your and your ex’s ability to negotiate constructively in the divorce process. Let me be clear, I would not be doing
long-term, extensive psychotherapy with either you or your partner. I would, however, be using my special skills as a psychologist to help you and your former partner transcend these difficulties. By doing so, I will enable you to negotiate your divorce
effectively and efficiently, and therefore help you move on to the next phase of your life.

You can read more about my approach to therapy on my Home page and
My Approach page, or contact me for a consultation. I look forward to helping you.