Couples Counseling

Couples Counseling in NYC

My approach to Couples Counseling

Couples often wonder, usually with a good deal of emotional pain, how their previously happy and joyful relationship turned into the difficult and ungratifying one they have today. Moreover, they may feel they have run out of ideas on how to restore the happiness and fulfillment they once enjoyed together.

Couples Counseling NYC - Winter LandscapeCouples counseling can help you identify and resolve the conflicts in your relationship – such as communications issues, sexual difficulties, substance abuse, anger, infidelity or parenting challenges – so you can rebuild and reconnect together.

I have been counseling couples – married or not, straight or gay – for more than fifteen years and have distilled my own blend of therapeutic approaches throughout that time, with my guiding principle being effectiveness.

A Different Kind of Marital Counseling

Couples Counseling NYC - Spring LandscapeOne area where I stand apart from many other therapists who provide marital counseling is my focus on exploring each individual partner’s earlier life experiences, or what I call their backstory. We all have our backstories, and these may lead us to develop emotional patterns that we ultimately bring into our relationships, often unintentionally.

These patterns can cause conflict and distance for the couple, and can even undermine any “techniques” or “exercises” they’ve tried in previous couples therapy. It is therefore important to recognize and address these patterns in order to make therapy more productive, and changes more lasting. Otherwise, couples therapy may begin to feel like a pointless merry-go-round (only not so merry).

Communication-Based Marriage Counseling in NYC

By truly listening and understanding your partner’s backstory, you can learn to understand their sensitivities, needs, and behavior in a different perspective. This will allow you each to gain more empathy for each other, which will facilitate your healing as a couple.

I will provide both you and your partner with direct feedback and suggestions on how to make productive changes to your relationship.  But I assure you that these suggestions will be based on a thorough understanding of who each of you are as individuals, within the context of your unique backstory and resulting relationship patterns. From this informed perspective, you can make lasting, effective improvements to your relationship that lead to a much more fulfilling life together.

You can read more about my approach to marriage counseling on my Home page and My Approach page, or contact me for a consultation. I look forward to helping you.