Blog

Dr. Shainbart’s Blog

On this blog, I will discuss various psychological issues that affect people, whether or not they are in psychotherapy. I may present examples from my practice to highlight some of my points, however any references to clients I may use to illustrate a point are never based on a specific person, but rather on fictional or composite clients.

#1 – How to Choose A Good Romantic Partner

#1 - Choose someone Nice.  And Kind.Choosing someone nice must be a top priority. If the person is not nice, there is nothing that can compensate for it.  Nothing. Is that clear?  As attracted as you are to the person, as gorgeous (rich, intelligent, witty, etc.) as they are, as passionate as you feel about them- if they aren’t nice to you, then break up with them.Of course no one is perfectly nice all the time.  But use your commons sense.  It doesn’t take a long time of living in this world to realize that some people are nicer people than others.  Choose a nice one.What exactly do I mean by nice?First, let me quickly clarify what I don’t mean by nice.  I don’t mean polite (not that there’s anything wrong with that).  I don’t mean someone who is overly compliant and … [Read More...]

Introduction – How to Choose A Good Romantic Partner

Choosing a good romantic partner is often quite difficult.   Considering how hard as well as important this is, it’s surprising that so many people choose their partners without giving it much thought.  Or, if they do think about it extensively, they often focus on the wrong criteria.  Either way, people end up making big mistakes when selecting a partner.I believe it is hard enough to find somebody good in the first place, without adding to the problem by going about that search in a misguided way.  Therefore, in your search, it’s important to prioritize those qualities that give us the best chance to find somebody good. Why not increase your odds of success?  In this blog I will discuss what I believe people should focus on when choosing a partner. Of course this is not meant as a … [Read More...]

Ten Tips for Happiness

Over the years I have lectured to mental health professionals on the topic of happiness.  There has been considerable research that has helped psychologists to identify specific factors that can help people lead happier lives.  This same research has also identified some common mistakes that people … [Read More...]

Odd Couples

When I was a boy, one of my very favorite TV series was “The Odd Couple,” and lately I have been thinking a lot about that show. “The Odd Couple” told the story of the ultra-neat Felix Unger and his very messy roommate, Oscar Madison. I recently read Jack Klugman’s (who played Oscar) touching book … [Read More...]

Money, Happiness, and Psychotherapy

David Brooks wrote a nice piece on the relationship between money and happiness in the New York Times on March 29th, 2010: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/30/opinion/30brooks.htmlOne major finding from the studies on happiness is that money is only strongly correlated with happiness when it … [Read More...]